Harassment, Othering
& Understanding Danger Cues

Zoom Talk of April 8, 2021


My dear friend Soomi Kim asked me to put together a discussion of sudden violence against the AAPI community (Asian & Asian Pacific Islander). I was excited and honored and hope I was able to allay some of the fear and anxiety associated with this most recent incarnation of hate crime. Please pass it on if you think it might help a friend or acquaintance in need of some peace-of-mind.

Soomi and I discuss how:

  • to be aware without hyper-focusing,
  • how to notice when you are physically caught up in a freeze response and how to get out,
  • how to recognize when someone is focusing on you before they act,
  • how to react in the moment of violence,
  • how to be an anti-target,
  • how to use pepperspray, which to buy and which not to,
  • and a bunch more.

Even in my home melting pot of NYC these sorts of hate crimes are happening all too often, which breaks my heart–see this very detailed New York Times Article. There are videos in the list of attacks, one of which involves a women being knocked to the ground in broad daylight on a city street and then stomped in the head several times while two men in a building lobby watch, do nothing, and then close the door.

It’s difficult to watch.

The AAPI community needs all of our support right now as general violence decreases but violence against Asians Increases.

You can look into bystander intervention training at Hollaback! Be part of the solution!




…The women who listened to the Zoom talk thought you were amazing!
I had one woman tell me that afterwards she felt different
and it has helped her feel less afraid!!!
” Soomi Kim, Zoom talk moderator

Thank you so much for taking the time to help and for offering all the advice and resources….
I appreciated how you gave both psychological and physical tips. In particular,
I found the tips about how to get unfrozen really helpful because I always seem
to freeze in shock and second-guess myself.
The session felt very practical, both in terms of
how to deal with [violence] at the time and how to take care of ourselves afterward….
Your work is so important—thank you for doing what you do!
” – Risa
Thank you again for taking the time to share your wisdom…. I learned a LOT.” Helene
Thanks for the zoom!… THANK YOU SO MUCH!” – Marina
I’m actually listening to Teja’s talk right now, so amazing.
Email from a participant, sent by the moderator